About Me

 

A New About Me (Updated)

After taking about a 6 month break (and then another break) from blogging, I am back. I have way too many thoughts floating around in my overactive mind to not write them down. Below this, is the About Me I had for when I started my blog. I decided to write a new About Me, because a lot of things are different now. I’ve changed a lot.

I’m a Senior at Penn State majoring in Biology. I graduated in May. I used to live the stereotypical college life and I was quite successful at it. I partied three nights of the week, had a great time and still managed to make straight As. I wasn’t satisfied though and I’m giving that life up. I’ve lost a few friends because of this decision, but I guess that shows they weren’t real friends to begin with.

I know there is something more out there. I can’t be satisfied by the normal, because I’m not normal. I’m a genius. I graduated high school at the age of 16. I was published as an author in a scientific paper at the age of 17. Accepted into a competitive clinical research internship program at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia with a >5% acceptance rate at 18. And in May, I obtained my Bachelor’s of Science at the ripe age of 19. Now I’m 20 and applying to medical school.

God may have blessed me with an intelligent mind, but I have still been through a lot. I was in a 4 year relationship that was abusive in every form of the term (psychological, emotional and physical). My ex, who I refer to in this blog as “P”, was sexually sadistic and at one point he raped me. My mind has become a dark and torturous place, but I do my best to shine what light I can on it. I write to heal, and maybe to show others that they can heal as well.

This new part of my blog is me fighting for the future, my future. I’m trying to figure out my life and what I’m going to do with it. I want to really make a difference. There is so much pain in this world. I feel driven to be a healer and a helper. That is my place here. I just have to figure out what I’m going to do with it.

I’m trying to make my life orange.

The old About Me:

Hello all! I’m a Junior at Penn State, majoring in Biology. I’m training to be an EMT and I hope to go to medical school when I graduate. My absolute favorite color is orange, which is the inspiration for the name of this blog. I would be the happiest person in the world if everything were orange which is why “Make Life Orange” is my motto. To me, it means to strive to be the happiest I can be.

I started this blog to help me handle my break up with my boyfriend of four years, P. The relationship was abusive and he pretty brutally raped me at one point. I needed an outlet for all of the pain and trauma that experience has caused me which is why I started to write. It is really helping me work through the emotional scars he left on me. I do try to be cheerful and keep a positive outlook though. If you’d like to know more about why I began this then read the post “The Start”. Otherwise, read, comment, follow and enjoy!

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22 thoughts on “About Me

      • I’d be happy if you read this: http://chilledsoda.wordpress.com/2011/02/25/incessantly/

        Valerie is a song I wrote about me, but I never actually told anyone that. As you stated on your blog, we’re anonymous here, so I have absolutely no qualms over telling you, especially someone who I know has been in a comparable relationship.

        It does get better. My relationship of destruction ended when he tried to kill me. That was 24 May, 2010. I haven’t recovered yet, but I am better.

        Keep writing Orange. (:

  1. Hi there,

    I love your motto of Make Life Orange! A great idea, happier all around! Thanks so much for your visit and like and I look forward to reading more of your thoughts! I also hope the pain from your breakup lessens each day~

  2. WOW….you had me after the first sentence in the second paragraph….so HONEST…so real. DEF looking forward to reading more from you. I too created my blog for more personal reasons…but I guess I just hide behind my warped humor. lol. Keep posting!

  3. The expression of the picture underlines the statement of your blog. I think the move could be interpreted in different ways. But they all correspond to the blog. It is like your blog – warm and powerfull.

  4. First, I hope that you are receiving the support you need. The Pennsylvania Coalition against Domestic Violence, http://www.pcadv.org, is an amazing resource…

    And second, I thought you may appreciate this… I hope it brings you the same joy it brings me…

    “Wait… mmm. that’s tasty… already gone.
    … a touch of music… a beating… a hum___.
    Warm girls, quiet girls – come,
    dance the taste of the fruits you savor.

    Dance the Orange. Who can forget it? …
    nearly drowned in its own sweetness,
    it prevails. You have possessed it,
    become the one luscious completeness.

    Dance the Orange. Fling the sultry season
    far from you, so it may shine
    in its native breezes. Radiant, revealing

    bouquet upon bouquet. Creating liaison
    with the pure, recalcitrant rind
    & the ebullient juice beneath the peel”

    ~Rilke
    Sonnets to Orpheus (15)

  5. Just read through several posts on your blog and enjoyed them thoroughly. I’m sorry you are dealing with so much pain in your life. I know how that feels more then you can possibly imagine – I’ve had 12 deaths and 4 moves in the last 3 years and there are days I just want to crawl in bed and hide from life. But I’m trying to use tragedy to spark dreams, and I really try to work through all my pain consciously so I can glean something from each loss. I’m with ya on it all. Hang in there. Keep writing!

    • Thank you for reading. I’m sorry to hear you are going through pain in your life as well. I think our blogs help us make it through that. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my writing.

  6. I am truly saddened to hear about your hardships, the worst things always end up happening to the best people. I must say I truly admire your courage and your optimism, you are an inspirational figure. Stay strong!

  7. It’s easy to say but takes discipline to practice. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and. today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present”
    Your life Is already orange my friend, it began in the moment of intention.

  8. You are a brave person. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel second-best. You deserve every happiness that comes your way.

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