Double Standard

Why is it that men are applauded for the number of women they sleep with, but a woman who sleeps with many men is a slut? Who decided that? I’d like to have a conversation with them. There’s such a huge social stigma on girls who like to have sex. I don’t even get it. We’re even taught that if we give it up too soon, a guy won’t like us anymore. As if having sex has some bearing on personality at all and I should ignore my physical desires simply to get a man to stick around. Fuck that (excuse the language). If getting physical is going to magically make him uninterested, why should I be interested in the first place?

I should not have to feel embarrassed about the number of men I have slept with. And no one should be allowed to judge me for it either. I’m a smart, independent women who happens to be very in touch with her sexuality. I don’t really see anything wrong with that. I think that everyone should be able to live their life how they want, without society telling them what to do. Sometimes I just want to go out and get laid. That’s biology. It’s a primal urge. And if it’s okay for men to have that urge, then it should be okay for women too. Everyone is equal. We should not hold each other to different standards.

21st Century Dating

To text or not to text? That is the question…

Dating in this day and age is extremely frustrating. We’ve become so technology obsessed that I feel like if, a guy isn’t texting me every day he isn’t interested. The sad thing is in most cases it’s true. We are constantly in contact with one another through social media, smart phones, etc. Sometimes I try and imagine how people dated back in the day of only land lines. It must have been way different.

I would prefer that though. I would prefer for him to have to call and plan the next date, or not speak at all. Texting is a frustrating distraction from real life that doesn’t mean anything. It also causes unnecessary anxiety and allows people to avoid really connecting. I’m so over it. It feels so fake. I struggle to try and convince myself to participate. Yet at the same time I get upset when the person on the other end of the line isn’t participating. It feels like rejection. Simply because texting is so commonplace. Who doesn’t text?

Haunted

Time to start blogging again. For previous followers, look to my About Me for an update on my life. Things have changed, as they always do. Another failed relationship has me frustrated. A string of bad dates and I’m wondering what on Earth is wrong with me. Oh right, most men can’t handle the 20 year old college graduate thing. I’m starting to wonder if anything is ever going to work out. I intimidate a lot of people. I don’t even know why, because I’m an extremely accepting person. Being really smart shouldn’t make you a social pariah. But for some reason it does…

I currently have the next year off. I’m applying to medical school. I already got accepted to a program that was half in Australia and half in the United States, but it’s way too expensive for me ($80,000+/year). I am super bored, and I feel like my brain is rotting. I’m not in school for the first time in 18 years, and it just feels so wrong to not be learning. It’s what I’m good at after all. I’m also living at home with my parents, which really sucks. I love my family, but the lack of privacy after 4 years on your own is extremely frustrating.

I really need to actually keep up with writing this time. Back in the day, I was pretty good at it. It’s also a fantastic outlet for my boredom and frustration with life at the current moment. And, since I’m being honest right now, I’m still having a lot of issues when it comes to P. It’s literally been two years, and I still can’t shake it. I would say I’m doing better than when I started this journey, but the memories still haunt me every night.

“It’s not about forgetting the past, it’s about accepting the past.”

-Melanie Koulouris