I don’t know how to say goodbye, especially when I have absolutely no desire to. I feel like I have to though. I really can’t make any decisions about my future with JJ around. I get so sad though, because I know he is going to want to try and stay friends. He has kept in contact with all of his exes. I don’t think I can do that though. It will hurt too much.
My method of handling this type of thing is to cut off the person completely and pretend like they never existed. That is easiest for me. The only person I’ve had relations with that I have been able to keep in contact with is D, but that is only because I cut him off for nearly 2 years before reestablishing contact. At the same time though, I feel like it is really cruel to do that to JJ when he has been nothing but kind to me. I also know in different circumstances our relationship would continue.
It’s just so typical of me though, to sacrifice myself so someone else can feel better. Talking to him after he moves is just going to make me so sad. I just wish I didn’t have to make this decision at all. I knew what I was getting myself into in the beginning, and I did it anyways. I think it was worth it, but I’m paying the price now. I’m going to have to be sad for a while.