Going Nowhere Fast


So I have a new man in my life. I know, right? It’s shocking. I wasn’t expecting it to happen either. It all happened really fast too. However, I have a feeling I’m on a train going nowhere fast. Let me tell you the story of how I met JJ.

S is an Accounting major so she works for this place that does free taxes. The managers there are all law students. One of them took an interest in her and invited her to a St. Patrick’s Day party. She didn’t want to go by herself, so she invited me. The party ended up being all 3rd year law students and us. They were all really friendly and inviting. We had a good time.

I spent the majority of the party watching the guy S was interested in. I’m a protective friend and I felt the need to size him up. Towards the end of the night, I did notice that one of the guys was talking to me more than the others. I’m going to call him JJ. He’s 24 and he got his degree in computational mathematics in 3 years before going to law school. He’s graduating in May.

JJ apparently liked me, because he Facebook friended me right away and IMed me the next day. We’ve been talking and seeing each other ever since (about 3 weeks ago). I’ve spent the night at his place a few times. We haven’t had sex yet, but it’s gone pretty far. He’s extremely nerdy, but very sweet. He’s more affectionate than any guy I’ve ever been with. I like him. Which I think is a HUGE problem. I’m graduating in a month and so is he. That’s why I say this is going nowhere fast. The chances of it working out are slim to none. And here I am getting attached. Sometimes I question my brainpower…

I guess my mind really isn’t in control here though. My heart has been screaming for affection, and now I’m finally getting some. I like it. It’s nice, safe and it feels good. I just don’t want to get used to it. That’s when it becomes a problem. And we all know the girl falls first, which is why I feel like I’m in a very vulnerable position. I do not like being vulnerable. I like to have the upper hand at all times. My only consolation at this point is that it can’t progress too far in 6 weeks. There’s absolutely no way I could fall in love that quickly at this point. I just have to trust that when it ends, I’ll be okay.

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