Sooner Or Later We All Have To Face Our Inner Demons Alone


“Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it.” – Albus Dumbledore

That quote certainly resonated within me. I definitely tried that tactic when P broke up with me. My personal remedy for my pain was to sleep with whatever man happened to give me attention. I also used D as a distraction for a while. And in some ways, I put up with all of the G crap just so I didn’t have to face the deepest hurt of all.

Granted, these tactics obviously didn’t numb me completely. I still had to face my broken heart. They did offer a distraction though. In some ways I thought I could just distract myself from my pain until I fell in love again. Now that I’ve been truly alone for a few months I don’t think that would have ever worked. I have a feeling it would have ruined whatever relationship I happened to be in. No other man or other love is going to heal me. I believe only time and acceptance is going to make this go away.

Perhaps I could use some counselling. Many have suggested this to me. I honestly don’t think it would work for me without the best therapist. I’m extremely reserved. I’m also extremely practiced at lying and pretending I’m okay. I wouldn’t be able to open up to a complete stranger. I know this, which is why I haven’t sought help. Besides, this blog is cathartic for me in many ways. I also have an endless network of support. I feel it does a much better job than many psychologists would do. Granted, I’m sure there are people out there who could help me and I’m not putting down the psychology profession. I just think it would be a challenge for me, personally, to find much relief through therapy.

I guess my point, or my belief rather, is that we all have to face our inner demons alone. No one can fight that battle for us. There are many who can offer support, but in the end it’s you versus your own personal monsters. It can be the hardest struggle. After all, our own minds fostered their creation. In ways we are fighting against our own self.

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4 thoughts on “Sooner Or Later We All Have To Face Our Inner Demons Alone

  1. I have a hard time with therapy for the same reason as you do. But I had a friend in high school who suffered from depression and her mom MADE her go to therapy. She hated her therapist so much that she would only pay him on days that she liked his outfit (which was pretty much never). But her mom continued making her go, and she went for years and ended up loving her therapist and calling him when she was feeling suicidal a few times. So despite the fact that I can lie for a long time, I have a feeling that once the relationship is there, it would be harder to lie… And they also majored in being able to decipher all of that.

  2. I’ve done this for 15 years in the solitude of the wilderness and here’s what I’ve found. Embrace your demons. Once they see that they can no longer torment you, they get bored and leave.

  3. First, I love Harry Potter.
    Second, yes, we have to fight our inner demons alone. But guess what – the fact that this is at all possible is encouraging and uplifting itself. As long as we are sincerely willing to find happiness and peace, it WILL come.

  4. don’t build relationships until you build yourself , that’s one of the greatest advices i got and i think you could use it, and i can see that you, just as me, realized that you cannot just hop in someone’s world to erase your…inner demons. you gotta accept those crazy, melancholic, weird people in you, and finally, find a man who will throw a party with all of you. hehehe. keep it up dear orange šŸ™‚

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