Do We All Have A Split Personality?

Sometimes I feel like I have a split personality. There’s the person in my head who writes this blog and there’s the person on the outside who lives my life. I think jaws would drop if anyone I knew read this. I write secrets and emotions that are locked deep inside my heart. This is the only place where I can be so honest with what is actually going on. If I lie or hide the truth on my anonymous blog, I’m essentially lying to myself.

Although I do find a lot of people are reluctant to write their true feelings on their blogs. Or if they write with pain or emotion they feel the need to warn their readers ahead of time. I guess this is probably fear of being judged? I appreciate honesty though. I can always tell when a post is written with deep conviction. Those are the best ones.

I wish the person I was on the inside could match the person I was on the outside. I don’t feel like I’m being true to myself sometimes. However, I like to think I show the world my softer, tempered side. The part of me that’s more agreeable and charismatic, happy and positive. What goes on inside my head is raw, hard and forceful. I liken my thoughts and emotions to a hurricane most of the time. They swirl with gale force winds and the driving rain of it all assaults my consciousness. That storm is constant. It never lets up.  If I reflected that on the outside I’d probably be locked up in a mental institution.

I wonder if everyone is like that. One of my deepest desires is to understand how others think. Not just understand, but empathize. I have known for a while that my thought processes are different than most. But maybe we’re all different and most of us just don’t let it show? Society certainly shuns idiosyncrasies. And human beings are complex creatures. Maybe we’re all hiding a split personality.


6 thoughts on “Do We All Have A Split Personality?

  1. I’ve always said I feel bad for whomever looks into my mind. I refer to it, and my attention span as an ADHD squirrel in a foul confetti factory. It’s about non existant. Part of my depression is rapid racing thoughts. Good lord it’s live a jive or swing dance, maybe a quick step too, all going at once. You never know what will spill out, though usually its what I try to keep in. Well at least it’s never dull. Just be you. I’m learning slowly. You cannot be anyone but you.

  2. I think everyone has a bit of split personality. Some just more than others. Rarely do I meet people I can truly be myself with. It seems most people are not as open minded and therefore they don’t need to know every detail. For me that’s what makes it frustrating.
    I totally feel the same way as you on showing people a softer more charismatic side. Most times it is actually genuine, sadly not often enoug.

  3. I have another very anon blog that I use to write in when things are tough and I just noticed the other day that I have over 60 followers on it; that amazes me – there are 60 people out there who can relate to all of the shit going on inside my head. That’s the beauty of blogging and being ‘real’ with it, sometimes you connect and it makes you feel a little less alone.

  4. I started my bog with the intention of never showing it to anybody there is a beautiful freedom to that, showing it to the people I loved was TERRIFYING I still haven’t showed my family just friends. Their response blew my mind they encouraged me to keep writing. If you ever want to show it them don’t let the fear of showing vulnerability stop you.

  5. I feel like I’ve got a bit of a split personality going too. I go to my blog to voice things that I don’t want people associating with me, yet still want to get off of my chest. I may joke and flirt about sex with closer friends, but I don’t ever exude this vibe of sexuality that many men do. For some reason, I just feel slightly uncomfortable about that. But I can blog about all of that on my blog and show that part of my personality off, ideally without repercussions.

  6. Hello,
    No, not everyone has outside faces and inside faces that are polar opposites. Most people have a face they present and a face that they hide but these are often very close together. The further the faces are apart the more we have to hide the inner one from others.

    If you read my blog (which you did that is how I found yours) You know you are not the only one that has to smile and present a happy face when you really want punch the person or when you know that what you are thinking would drive them or make them drive you to the nearest psych hospital.

    I do something similar with my blog. I write because the thing inside me forces me to. It squirms against the edge of my skull until I do. Not Pleasant…

    As a published author I am not afraid of many people knowing about it. I have less of a reason to hide it completely. There are still people that I don’t want knowing about how dark that side of me is.

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