I heard from D tonight. It was completely out of the blue and I have no idea how I feel about it (Never mind, I’m pissed off). I don’t think we’ve really talked since April. I care about him a lot. Probably too much, which is why I’m really kind of angry he decided to come back. I would have been really happy if he just stayed gone. I like him better when he’s just a fleeting thought in the back of my mind.
The problem with D and I is that we both have never had better sexual partners. I think that’s why he keeps coming back to me. We’re extremely compatible. However, we live two completely different lives in two completely different places. There’s also the 7.5 year age difference. He openly admitted tonight that he had no intentions of seeing me again after the last time (which was in March). But yet he invited me to his house while he’s home for break after we’d been talking for a few hours. He’s not just trying to get laid. He told me he has a girl he’s consistently hooking up with. So why? Why me?
I refused to give him a definite answer. I’m better than that at least. Our conversation ended on a slightly tense note too, because he was acting like he only talked to me because he was bored. I called him out on it and he finally admitted he liked talking to me and genuinely wanted to see how I was doing. Then he went to bed and said he would “check up on me soon…or you could check up on me.”
I won’t be checking up on him. That’s for damn sure. Honestly, the only reason I’m entertaining the idea of seeing him is for the sex. I haven’t had any physical contact in three months and I could use some. Especially with someone who is familiar and safe. I guess I’ll wait and see if he even talks to me again. If he does I’ll consider the idea, but for now I’m forgetting this even happened. I have a strange feeling he’s going to disappear again in typical D fashion.