The Weight Of Night, The Light Of Day


“The light of day has an irrational leavening effect on grief.”

This was a quote from the book I’m currently reading. It had such a profound effect on me that I felt the need to write about it. I think it is completely true. The dead of night is such a dark place. The blackness weighs heavily. Sometimes it is almost suffocating. Especially when you’re alone.

I’ve prayed for daylight many times. I think sunshine is a sign of the good in this world. Just seeing it reminds us that there are better things out there, they are coming our way. Morning has a way of lifting the weight off our shoulders that we felt so strongly the night before. My only explanation for this is that it somehow symbolizes the better things to come.

I had a rough night last night. Well, many nights are rough for me. That’s why I usually write when it’s very late. I find comfort and solace in my blog. It helps me make it through the darkness. I’m eager for the next day to come. Last night I got to experience cyber bullying. Luckily, I’m older now so it didn’t cripple me the way it would a pubescent high schooler. It still hurt though. A once “friend” publicly tweeted about how I should never leave my apartment, because “no one wants to see your ugly face. #fakebitch.”

What can I say? Girls are mean. I chose not to respond to that though. Instead, I deleted my Twitter account. S is trying to retaliate with nasty Facebook statuses. I just can’t do that. I won’t participate in social media bashing. In my opinion, if you have an issue with someone you talk to them about it. That’s that. My refusal to join in may ostracize me from everyone, including S. But if that’s what I have to do to keep my friendship it’s not worth it. I want to be around people of integrity. Not immature college girls who are behaving like they walked straight out of the movie Mean Girls.

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