I really can’t wait to graduate. I live such a healthier life when I’m at home. I love Penn State. Penn State is a wonderful school that has done wonderful things for me. It was my rock when I broke up with P. I filled some of the emptiness with Penn State and it really helped me make it through.
This school is toxic though. There is definitely a partying culture. It can consume your entire existence. If I wanted to get drunk every, single night it would be completely socially acceptable. It is so easy to get sucked in. That type of lifestyle is just not for me. I honestly feel like it’s chipping away bits and pieces from me. I’ve been having a ton of fun, but it’s just not me.
I’m ready to get out of here and start living and adult life. We aren’t adults. We’re still kids. I’m ready for something more and something deeper. I also want to find people that are more like me. I haven’t really found them yet. I don’t know why, but I keep making friends with superficial, selfish people. They seem to be drawn to me. Maybe it’s because I listen. I’ve always been a good listener. That seems to be my role. I support people. I prop them up. I help them solve their problems. I guess that’s why self centered people are drawn to me. In a way I indulge their needs.
I need to stop though. These people are taking away from me. I just keep giving more and more trying to help them, trying to fix them. Some people can’t be fixed. And I shouldn’t make it my job anyways. Not every problem can be solved. I shouldn’t try to.