I’ve decided I need to put a little distance between myself and the people I normally hang out with. I feel like I’m being poisoned. I’m becoming a lot more catty and quick to judge. I don’t like that. I’m normally an extremely accepting person. I still am. I just find little voices in the back of my head are starting to say mean things that my core being does not agree with.
I’ve realized that I’m going to need to accept a little more loneliness if I’m going to do this. I know it’s possible to make new friends, but I’m in a weird place. It is the end of the semester and I’m a senior. Where I go to school most people already have their friends set in stone by sophomore year. It’s okay though. I don’t have much longer to go. I need to work on myself anyways. I’ve really lost track of my fitness. I was doing excellent over the summer and then it all just died once I got back to school. I’m going to start exercising and dieting again, so hopefully I’ll be able to get myself back to normal.
I also started reading again over my Thanksgiving break. I’m a voracious reader. I go through books ridiculously fast, because my reading pace is about twice that of your average person. To give you an idea, I’ve read 3.5 six hundred page books in the past three days. One of those days was Thanksgiving and I spent the majority of it with my family. Today I spent nearly 7 hours car shopping. To sum things up, I read reallllllly fast. It’s not a bad thing. I just require a constant supply of very long, detailed books. This was more difficult when I was younger, but now that I have a Kindle I can read to my heart’s content.
The only problem with reading is that I get lost in the worlds of my books. My favorites are epic fantasies and once I start I am gone. Finishing a novel sucks. It almost feels like a break up. I have to work to get my mind out of the setting of the book. It’s worth it though. Reading more will hopefully keep me out of the trouble I’ve been in. I don’t want to be that crazy, partying kid. That’s not who I am. I’m a nerd through and through. I just have to accept that.