Okay so my love life. This blog used to be all about that. My past love, my escapades, dating disasters, and D….wherever he fell into all of that. I’m sure some of my followers are wondering what happened to all the men who were defined by their letters. Well, they don’t really exist anymore. Like seriously, I don’t even talk to anything with a Y chromosome.
I got really weird about guys this semester. I had a little three week fling around late August/early September. I quickly ended that (it was not going to end well). Ever since then my demeanor has completely changed. I’ve become known as the girl who doesn’t believe in relationships and has no interest in men. Granted, this doesn’t stop the guys from trying. And I want nothing to do with them. The attention disgusts me.
The sad thing is I have this reputation and I don’t even believe in it. Everyone thinks I do and no one has really even bothered to ask me how I really feel. Yeah, I’ll admit that I can be blunt and standoffish. I don’t take shit and I also don’t believe in hanging all over a man to get his attention. At the first sign of trouble I’m going to turn tail and run. And if you do something that upsets me I’m probably never going to give you a second chance. That’s just what I’ve become and I’m a rare breed. Most of the girls I’m around will forgive a guy for just about anything and do whatever he wants to get him to ask her out. I don’t believe in that. If that makes people infer that I don’t believe in relationships, then whatever. They can think what they want and be wrong.
I do want to date somebody. I’m lonely and starving for affection on the inside. I’m trying to patiently wait for someone to come along that I really click with. I’m dying to be swept off my feet. Pretty much stereotypical 19 year old girl feelings. Yup, I still have them. They burn strong. So strong in fact that I’ve decided I’m not having sex with another man unless I’m in a relationship with him. I want to wait. I want it to be special. I want to feel something again. I’m tired of one night stands and no strings attached sex. It sucks. It feels good momentarily, but that feeling is fleeting. I’m ready for a real connection again.