I think if I knew P wanted to talk to me I would contact him. I never want to be in a relationship with him again, that’s for sure. I honestly don’t think I could ever be attracted to him. However, I really miss having someone to talk to. I just miss having a guy to talk to. I’m definitely really lonely.
I guess I’m just not used to this. Since I was 14, I always had a guy that I was texting or IMing or something. Even after I broke up with P and stopped talking to him, there was D and then G. This is the longest period of time I’ve gone without anyone there. I mean I can talk to my friends and my mom, but it’s not the same.
I’m hoping I get used to it. I don’t like feeling as though I need something that is provided by someone else. Granted, I do have to give myself credit. Every girl I know would have contacted P by now. I honestly don’t know any girl that’s been able to break up with their ex and completely stop talking to him. I’ve actually succeeded at that, and for over a year. I’m proud of myself for that. He had such a hold on me and now he doesn’t anymore. I think I could keep that control too, even if we started talking again. I’d rather not go there though or test those waters. Better safe than sorry.