Last night was one of those stereotypical college nights. I was at a frat and I was white girl wasted. We were at G’s fraternity. He wasn’t there at first. He was out at the bars, but I went to chill with A, S, Bryan, Cameron and a few other people. I texted G and asked him to come though. He said he might.
Anxiety over whether or not he would actually show made me drink pretty quickly. After a bit I managed to calm down and start enjoying myself. Then we were down in the kitchen and I felt someone press a cold beer against my leg and wrap an arm around me. G came. Of course I was really happy to see him. I was also quite drunk at this point so it was probably all very exaggerated.
We hung out downstairs for a while with everybody. S kept trying to intervene with what was going on with us though. It started to piss me off because she was saying stuff to G that I was not comfortable with. I wasn’t actually there when this was occurring either. G would just tell me what she said to him. I do not trust her at all at this point. She does not have my best interest at heart. A says she wants to be “queen of the jungle”. Power hungry girls are dangerous. That’s for sure. I’m going to have to keep an eye on her.
Anyways it got to a point where we were both really drunk and needed to go home. Of course I wanted to go to G’s, but he lives a mile off campus. We’ve walked there before, but he said he was going to take me home because I was too drunk and he also knew he couldn’t satisfy me right now. He did go about a half mile to walk me back which was nice. It probably takes an hour and a half to walk from my place to his so he went really out of his way. He held my hand on the way home too. He swore up and down that he would make it up to me today. That I would see him tonight and we could have a good time together. I told him that I just couldn’t trust him and he seemed pretty adamant on proving me wrong. He understood why though. Once we got to my dorm he stopped and told me not to worry because, “You’re awesome. You’re one of the most awesome people I’ve ever met.” Then he kissed me and I went upstairs.
I don’t really know what to think about it all right now. I feel like his words and promises meant nothing because we were both so intoxicated. He promised he was going to see me today, but I am really not sure if it’s going to happen. If it doesn’t, I am definitely done with this. It’s too much stress and he has absolutely no excuse not to come through. There’s text message evidence of it too so even if he was blacked out (which I don’t think he was), he has no reason not to keep his promise. The funny thing is I still don’t think he’s going to. Life has taught me to expect the worst in people, because that’s what they usually show you. G seems like a nice guy, but I just can’t trust him. He hasn’t proven himself yet. I hope he does because I really like him and I feel like I can connect with him. I still expect the worst though. I just can’t help it at this point.