Significant Expectations


G said I should write about what I want from a significant other. That I would “learn a lot about myself” and it would surprise me. He’s very intuitive like that. I know I wrote a post earlier about how I don’t believe in having a dream man. This exercise might be good for me though. I should have some standards for what I want. I need to make sure I end up with the right person for me. So here it goes, qualities I want in my significant other:

  1. Nice. I know nice is a simple, silly way to describe someone, but I really don’t care. I want him to have nice rooted in his core.
  2. Intelligent. Another really important one for me. I need him to be intelligent, because I am too. I want someone that can keep up with my mind and have hopes of understanding it.
  3. Confident. I’m very attracted to confidence. It can make me so much more into a man if he displays that. His physical appearance could be average, but with confidence he would be a 10 in my eyes.
  4. Optimistic. A positive outlook on life is so important. Positive people are usually happy people. That warmth radiates and helps make the people around them more happy too. I would really like someone who is capable of that.
  5. Self Aware. He needs to be aware of how his actions effect others. He needs to be able to realize when he does something wrong and fix it.
  6. Generous. I want someone who will help others out just because they need it, not because they expect something in return. And I don’t just want them to be generous with me, I want it to extend to the other people in their life.

Okay, I think that’s enough. I feel like I could keep going for a really long time. If I do that I’m going to create someone who is perfect that doesn’t exist. I like to keep my expectations realistic. I think it’s realistic that I could find someone with those six qualities. I shouldn’t settle for less then that either. I made excuses for P that no one was perfect. That I would have to accept his flaws, because I could never find anyone that would treat me exactly how I wanted to be treated. I think I know now that I was wrong. There is someone out there that will be good to me, and I deserve that. I deserve all of it.


One thought on “Significant Expectations

  1. “I think I know now that I was wrong.” Don’t sweat being wrong… we all are – a lot more than we’d like to think. The problem is when people are wrong, but unwilling to change that perspective, those actions, that mindset that makes them wrong. Either that or just plain learn from their mistakes. It should be a cardinal sin or a commandment: “Thou shalt learn from thy mistakes, lest an almighty smiting be brought upon thee… with locusts.”

    I personally like #5 – self aware. Perhaps the majority of relationship problems stem from people just bumping through life like a clumsy slow dancer on a packed floor – blind to the chaos left in their wake and repercussions that unfold well after the dance. In fact, I can attribute a lot of a lack of this particular trait to the failures of recent relationships (and to be fair, I have failed on that as well, but as previously mentioned “I think now that *I* was wrong”… at least on some level…)

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