Are two people meant for each other? Is there some unknown force that just continues to bring them together? If you asked me that a month ago I would have laughed at you. I would have told you that there are many people out there for you. I still believe that wholeheartedly. However, D has been causing me to contemplate a lot lately. So has G.
My relationship with D is strange. We certainly aren’t just friends. Although, if you ask either of us the nature of our relationship that is what we’ll tell you. We like to pretend that we see each other just for the sex. But now we’re both getting some from other places. So what happens to that ruse? Should we acknowledge that it no longer applies? I doubt that would happen. It would force us to accept the fact that there is something more here. There is something that keeps drawing us towards one another, like moths to a flame. The problem comes with the fact that there are just so many factors working against us. The age difference, the distance, the points we’re at in life, etc…
Both my mom and A seem to think that D and I will end up together. A was talking about how since I’d probably go to med school somewhere close to D (I want to be in Philly or DC) that we could make it work. I don’t “feel” like that’s going to happen. If we’re going on gut instincts I feel as though he’s going to remain on the peripheral of my life for a very long time. We will see each other when we can, more when we’re single and less when we aren’t. I just have a hard time imagining it ever progressing. That would require one of us getting frustrated enough with the situation to do something about it. Perhaps that will happen. I’m not really sure. What I do know, is that I connect with D and we get along really well. He’s my friend. I don’t get to see him often. I would like to take the chance when I have it.
What I worry about with seeing D on Friday is muddling my feelings. I just have to make sure I keep him and G (No issues there anymore by the way. I will probably write more about him tomorrow.) completely separate in my mind. If I start comparing those two I’ll be in big trouble. It’s definitely going to be a much easier experience then last time. I’m on more solid footing and I know what to expect. It also won’t be our first time seeing each other in over a year and a half. Plus, I’ll have G to focus on as soon as I get home. All in all, I think it will be fun. I just need to be careful with my emotions and enjoy myself.