So I promised I’d update on G. Yesterday he asked me to be his valentine. It was really cute. I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. P never remembered and never planned anything. So for four years it was a day where I felt left out and unloved. G changed that with a simple chat.
G is just so nice whenever I talk to him. He’s so happy, upbeat and positive. I feel like it’s too good to be true. We have just been IMing and texting though. I’m home right now and he’s in State College. But he has talked to me every day without fail and he wants to meet up as soon as I go back to school. I just don’t know how to handle this guy being really interested in me and really pursuing me. I’m not used to it. I guess I’m being a super chicken about it. A says that’s how you know you really like a guy, if he makes you really nervous. G makes me nervous. G scares the shit out of me.
What I fear the most is him deciding that he doesn’t like me. I don’t want to go on a date with him and then have him never talk to me again. That will hurt. I’m strong, but it will still hurt my ego. I just really want this to go somewhere. I worry I’m driving down a dead end road, but I may just be paranoid. Everyone says I am, because he’s been initiating the conversation and asking when he can see me. I guess I just don’t have that much trust in men right now. D and P both hurt me. I need someone to prove to me that they aren’t all the same. G is the only guy in five months that I’ve seen that potential for. That’s why I’m so scared. I’m heading back to school tomorrow, so I guess I’ll find out what’s going to happen shortly.