Toe In The Water


Today I got a call from the cardiologist. My surgery was originally scheduled for next Thursday. The lady on the phone was insistent I push it up to Monday. So I’ll be going under in five days time. Wish me luck.

I called my parents and told them the news. They both seemed concerned that the doctor wanted to move the surgery up to as soon as possible. My mom asked me if I was nervous. The funny thing is I’m not scared at all. I’m most concerned about missing a week of school and all of my professors have been very understanding. I’m pretty sure I could be diagnosed with cancer and it wouldn’t scare me. I have faith in my body and my soul. It’s made of strong stuff. I just know I didn’t endure what I did to die and not use that pain for some good. I suppose this is kind of like my spiritual beliefs. As I’ve said before, I have no religion. I haven’t tried to define what I feel about those sorts of things. I know there is a higher power though. And I trust that power. I just know it is not my time. I have unfinished business. I can feel it.

Granted, I don’t know what that unfinished business is. But I feel like we all need to leave our mark on this world in some way. I have not done that yet. I have definitely started with this blog. For some reason I’ve been drawn to this. I think it’s the beginning of how I’m going to make my difference. However, right now my toe is only dipped in the water. I have yet to dive in.

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4 thoughts on “Toe In The Water

  1. Good luck with the surgery; I’m sure it will go well.

    I know that often people get these “gut instinct” feelings, which more often that not turn out to be true. Such feelings are often put down to humans having little neural remnants from earlier times when you needed to go on instinct whether there was a sabre-toothed tiger behind that hill or not. Whether they’re due to neurology or precognisance – or both – it’s good to know that it works a lot of the time.

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