After that little experiment last night, I felt emotionally drained. Getting out of bed this morning was tough. I almost skipped my first class. Inner strength forced me to not be brought down though. I drug myself out of bed and trudged to class. Whenever I’m walking anywhere I listen to music. Recently, I downloaded some new albums including Snow Patrols recent album Fallen Empires. So I put my iPod on shuffle (I’m indecisive) and the first song that came on hit me like a ton of bricks. I have nearly 1700 songs so the fact that this song I’d never heard before, but really needed to hear came on was very significant to me. It’s called “This Isn’t Everything You Are” (Go here for lyrics and a video http://www.directlyrics.com/snow-patrol-this-isnt-everything-you-are-lyrics.html).
It spoke to me. It reminded me that I am so much more than my relationship with P. I am not just defined by the rape, the abuse, our break up. I am smart. I am kind. I am an EMT. I am going to go to medical school and be a great doctor. I take care of my friends and family. I play the piano. My favorite color is orange. I love dogs and the Philadelphia Eagles. I’m a Nittany Lion proud and true. I have the ability to love with all my heart. I am strong. I can bend and adapt. I will never be broken. I will overcome this. And most importantly, I will never give up.