Do Nice Guys Finish Last?


At the beginning of this school year, I got a job working for the police doing campus security. Part of the job was to do security for football games. This is when I met R. My first shift he was my partner and he was my partner for many subsequent shifts after that. Since we were with each other for over eight hours straight every Saturday we talked a lot and became fast friends. I’m not at all physically attracted to R. He’s not ugly, but he’s just not my type. I also never thought he was into me. But one night I got a text from him asking what I was doing that Sunday night. He asked me if I liked scary movies and if I wanted to see Paranormal Activity 3 with him. I said yes. This was back in November.

So we went to the movies together. He paid for me, but he didn’t try anything. Did not even lean up against me at all. We started to hang out more, but he still wasn’t making any moves on me. I really wasn’t sure what was going on. Then one weekend he invited me to go to a party with him and some of his friends. It was off campus, so he said I could crash at his place if I couldn’t make it back to my dorm. I agreed to go. I did end up sleeping at his place and still NOTHING happened. He never even made an attempt to kiss me. Then one day I get a text from him asking what I want from “us” and where “this” is going. I just could not see myself with him. I like him as a friend, but there is no attraction. That factor is increased by the fact that he never even had the guts to kiss me or tell me in person how he feels. Not to mention I definitely wasn’t ready for a relationship still after P. So I told him that I thought he was a cool person, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship and we would be better off as friends. He seemed okay with that. Two weeks ago he posts this on Facebook:

So I’m 100% positive this was directed at me. Remember I ended up hooking up with that guy C a couple weeks ago? Well one of R’s friends is in that fraternity. So I can only assume he found out about that through the grapevine of college gossip.

Here’s my issue with all this. Yeah, I am looking for a nice guy. However, I was not attracted to him. It would not have worked out. Not to mention he had absolutely no confidence. Why would I want to date someone that doesn’t have the guts to ask me out in person? Or tell me how he feels about me in some way other then text message? Confidence is a huge deal for me. It’s just a huge turn off when a man is too afraid to make a move on his own.

So I have a message to all the nice guys out there. I am waiting for you. All I want is for one of you to come along and sweep me off my feet. However, when you do fall for me and you get those butterflies in your stomach, have the guts to do something about it. Grow some damn balls, look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel. Most of us girls are just waiting for a man that likes us enough to do that.

 

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4 thoughts on “Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

  1. I know exactly what was going through that poor boy’s young mind, I used to be him!

    “I really like this girl…I don’t want to screw this up…I’m afraid if I show any kind of intent and she doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to screw this up…then I will be alone…being alone really sucks…so maybe she’ll be able to read my mind……why isn’t she reading my mind??!!!!…now if I make a move things will be weird and she’ll never want to talk to me again and I’ll be alone…being alone really REALLY sucks…but dammit why can’t she see I like her?? Oh she just wants to be friends now…that bitch…damn her for not reading my mind…oh she fucked some guy because he made a move…he’s an asshole…I must become an asshole to get girls…I am now an asshole and still am going nowhere with women.”

    Thing is that simply making even the slightest of moves might have gotten him a lot further than making no moves at all. And it doesn’t mean becoming an asshole to get there. Just showing you’re a MAN and you can take the lead.

    Tell him to visit my website and email me! LOL

    http://www.misadventures-of-a-pua.com

    • Haha, thank you for giving me that perspective. I’m sure that was what was going on in his head, but you’re right. If he had made the slightest of moves he would have gotten a lot farther. Thanks for commenting 🙂

  2. Funny thing about romance is communication goes both ways. Just as much as he said nothing, you didn’t either. At least, according to the inferences in this post.

    As being a guy’s gal most of my life and having 2 very close girl friends, I have come to realize the confidence in communication goes both ways. You aren’t attracted; have the confidence to make it clear and hurt feelings before you break hearts. Same goes for the opposite, if there is something there: say it. You want to be a friend? A friend not only tells it how it is but also has the actions to back it up. Don’t let a guy take you out and pay for everything. Step up, pay for yourself, and make the boundaries clear. You do like him? Buy him a beer or whatever (Sweeping goes both ways.) You don’t know if you like him or not, tell him that. Just because a guy is sensitive, a gentleman, and not what you associate with ‘being a man’ doesn’t mean they do not have balls or don’t wear big man underroos.

    I’ve been around the block of assholes and “frat boy types.” I ended up marrying a guy very much like the guy who you are having issues with. It took some really good guy friends of mine to help me define the lines of communication as well as redefine what I was seeing versus how things really are. Yes, there are some true wussies out there. But, to land a nice guy, a truly great man, you have to be a nice girl in return.

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