The Advice Monster

My friend U had sex for the second time last night. This morning she was IMing me freaking out, because they didn’t use a condom. Here’s the thing, she’s on the pill. She also went and got Plan B. Yet she is still freaking out about possibly being pregnant. Apparently, she thinks birth control isn’t effective. Why would people take it if it didn’t work? How uninformed people are shocks me sometimes. If you would simply google it and read about it, you would know so much more. I never trust what other people tell me. Especially when it comes to science. I think U is just naive because she is not very experienced when it comes to sex. I also have zero confidence in what high school sex ed programs teach. My high school was similar to Mean Girls, “If you have sex. You will get pregnant. And die.” So then we get to college, and we have no real knowledge of how it works. Then you add alcohol into the mix, and I start to understand why the STD rate is so high.

Anyways, back to U. I had to spend about an hour to get her to calm down. I knew it was going to be a long conversation when she started out with, “I need Sam advice.” For some reason, I’ve gotten the role of advice friend. I’m a couple years younger then most of my friends too which is why this makes even less sense to me. I don’t mind playing this part. However, it is frustrating when 99% of the time they don’t take my advice. They just listen to what I have to say, agree with me and then do whatever they want to do. Granted, I always have those “I told you so” moments later, but those are usually diminished by the fact that my friends are bawling.

I want to help my friends. Just like I want to help all of the upset people on WordPress. I find this challenging though. The sad truth is most people think they want advice, but really they don’t. I have found that usually people have something in their minds that they want to hear you say. They get angry or upset when what comes out of your mouth isn’t what was in their head. I really don’t appreciate when my friends ask my advice and then yell at me once I give it. A does this to me a lot. She compares it to an intervention. She says she’s not mad at me, she’s mad at herself and takes it out on me. Personally, I don’t think that’s a great way to treat your friend. Especially someone that is trying to help you. Oh well, such is life. I’m hoping my friends will grow out of it…or stop asking for advice.


2 thoughts on “The Advice Monster

  1. back in the day i used to give advice. it was very satisfying when people appreciated it. some advice i got recently was “if people ask for your advice and don’t do it and ask again, they probably won’t follow through, so don’t waste your breath”

    another quote i like is “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”

    most of the time, i think people know what they need to do, they just want hugs but don’t know how to ask.

  2. At least A is aware that she is projecting her own anger at herself onto you. Now she needs to work on taking a step back from her situation at the time to deal with that anger before she decides to take it out on someone else, or sooner or later she’s going to start losing friends because of it.

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