Yesterday A told me my back-up plan to med school should be writing. She said if I wrote a self help book she would read it. Of course in my head I was thinking, “You don’t listen to my advice when I speak it so why would you listen to it in writing?” I’m not a very loud, talkative person. Stoic is one of the words that’s been used to describe me. When I lead, people follow but I don’t think it’s because I have a charismatic personality. Unlike Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I have never been able to rally people with my voice. I admire that man. He was such a powerful speaker. I have never had that ability.
My writing is a completely different story. For some reason, people listen when I write. Words flow out of my finger tips in ways I have never been able to reproduce with my voice. I’ve only just begun to realize the power of letters on a page. In life I had always accepted the fact that science was where my strengths were. My science teachers were quick to recognize my talents and cultivate them. Perhaps because those abilities were blatantly obvious. I never had an English teacher say I had any skill. In fact, my tenth grade Honors English teacher told me my writing “wasn’t honors material.” I could never thrive under all the constraints they put on my papers. All the rules made my writing seem lifeless and flat, as if a robot had spit out the paper. I really enjoy this blog, because I finally feel free to express myself. I have never had a creative outlet like this, besides the piano. Music was always better at distracting me and calming me whereas writing is healing.
The reason I’m writing this is because I felt brave enough to let A read a few of my posts. I wouldn’t show her the site. I just copied some of them and emailed her. I was really nervous about it for two reasons. 1. She’s an English major so this is her thing. 2. My writing is more honest then I would ever be talking with her. I think she realized #2 though. I took a shower while she was reading. I didn’t want to watch her and make her uncomfortable. When I got back she told me that I may be a better writer then her. She said I should take more college English classes, because I would be wildly successful. I don’t know if I would go that far. It was nice to hear though. I feel more confident about my words. I really enjoy doing this. I’ve learned a lot about myself in this short time.