Quite a few interesting things happened last night. It started out as a girl’s night out, our first Friday back at school. The plan was to go to a birthday party at some male friends who are in ROTC, and then head over to a frat party. I would never go to a frat party just for fun, but Bryan (the guy who S has been kind of seeing) is a brother. The night was filled with awkward for me, because a guy I had previously hooked up with was at both parties. I don’t know why, but I always manage to see people I don’t want to wherever I go. My policy for drunken hook ups is to never contact them again and move on with my life. I never expect anything and it’s always a purely physical altercation. So when I have to talk to these guys later I’m a little annoyed. It always seems to happen to me though so I guess I should just get used to it.
I can’t decide whether to call it a good or bad night. Many girls would call it a good night, because I did meet a boy. He danced with me the entire time I was at the frat. He kept saying I had the cutest smile because of my dimples. It made me blush. It’s been a while since a guy has been able to do that. However, as soon as my friends saw how interested he was in me they just left. They seem to think being single is terrible so as soon as any man shows remote interest in me they go somewhere else. I was a little upset with them, because we had originally planned to have fun together. So I got left with this new guy and eventually we left together. We went back to his place for a little and fooled around a bit. I didn’t want to go too far because I just met him plus I had to get home. I had to be at CPR/AED certification at 9 a.m. I gave him my number and he texted me at like 9:06 making sure I got there on time. I thought that was nice. We’ll see if I ever hear from him again though. I have very low expectations of any guy I meet at a party. Low as in I generally expect that they will never contact me.
I guess the reason I’m so muddled right now is because I really don’t want to meet anyone that’s attracted to me. Or I’m attracted to for that matter. I wanted to have fun with my girlfriends, and not worry about boys. But it seems I can’t go to any party at this school without men hitting on me. And then my friends peace out. I tell them not to, but like I said, they think single is a disease that must be cured as soon as possible. I just want my life to be simple so I can focus on me. That may sound self centered, but after living for someone else for four years I think I deserve it. I don’t want to be distracted by drama. I got upset and sidetracked enough with D. I’d like to have him as a friend, but if our friendship is toxic to my life he’s getting cut out. There’s no room here for people who aren’t helping me better myself.