First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage


I go to one of the largest universities in the United States. Close to 50,000 students attend Penn State University Park Campus. Whenever we are feeling down about a guy, my roommates and I always tell each other, “Don’t worry. We go to school with 20,000 men. There’s gotta be someone out there.” I suppose it’s our way of being optimistic. But realistically, the number of dateable men here is a lot smaller then 20,000. I think my friends hold onto this notion that they are going to find person they’ll marry here. I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure the world doesn’t end and all of them guys fall off the planet once you finish undergrad.

Not to mention, I’m pretty sure the men here aren’t thinking the same thing. It’s no secret that Penn State is a party school. Go downtown at 2 a.m. on a Friday or Saturday; it’s like anarchy. Fun anarchy though. But I have found that guys here are mostly trying to rack up their number. It’s not even hard for them either. Girls here are easy. Soooooo easy. I wish they would gain a little self respect. Maybe then the guys would treat us with some respect. Needless to say, they don’t have marriage on their minds. Not that they should. I mean we’re all about 18-23, why should we be preparing to pack it in for life already?

I’m not being cynical about marriage. I definitely want to get married and have a family one day. I just feel like my peers (especially the female ones) need to slow down a  bit. This is our time to experience life, not sit around waiting for true love and wedding bells. Maybe that’s the reason the divorce rate is so high. We’re all making the life-long commitment much too early. I feel like it takes a lot of maturity to make that decision. Maturity I’m positive I don’t have. And I’m even more certain my roommates don’t have it. Just the fact that they can fall head over heels for a guy they talk to once is proof enough of that.

I’m just making generalizations. I’m sure there are people who go here who are in love and ready for marriage. That’s fine. However, it is my firm opinion that most of us need to grow up and live life a little more. I think being in a relationship is fine too. That helps us learn a lot about ourselves. But we’re still growing and developing. It doesn’t end with adolescence. I’m pretty sure emotional development isn’t complete until age 21. And that’s obviously not specific, some people are going to be slower and some faster. Don’t you think it’s a bad idea to commit your life to someone before you’re finished maturing emotionally?

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4 thoughts on “First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

  1. I don’t even know if I’m done maturing and I’m 25. I’m at a point where I could commit to somebody forever. I think the divorce rate is getting higher because people do still marry young, and now women have so many opportunities that their lives don’t continue along the same path.

  2. It’s true.. most college boys aren’t looking to settle. Hell, many guys in their mid to late twenties aren’t ready to settle either. My school was the same way. Greek life was HUGE and that meant many frat parties and access to easy drunk girls. I think the divorce rate is so high these days because it’s become socially acceptable. People used to get married much younger and stay married.. but thats because that’s what was expected of them. Now… theres all these man-childs running around hitting up clubs when they’re 30+ and hitting on 21 year olds.

  3. I feel like people are getting married for the sake of saying they’re married. They aren’t in it for the love or experience at all, they just want the title, but it’s quickly ripped from them once they realize their mistake. And it’s funny that you bring the point up about how many guys are at your disposal at your school. While N.C. State (my school) doesn’t have 50,000 like Penn State, there are still about 18,000 girls that I could potentially look into for marriage. I hate it when people assume that I’m going to find my woman in college just because of the quantity. I have the whole world to explore. The amount of girls here is just a teenth of all the ones available. I’d rather explore the world instead of attempting to find “my future wife” when she may not even be at N.C. State. It’s true that everybody does this at their own pace, I also hate it when people have a set age for when they want to be married. It happens when it happens.

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