I’m two days away from starting my fifth semester of college. I’ve just had the realization that it’s the first semester I’ll be starting without P in my life. It’s very refreshing. It feels like I’m getting a fresh start and a new chance. P was always bad for my grades. I feel like I’ve got a good shot at a 4.0 without him around.
Another reason I’m excited is I’ll be starting training as an EMT next semester. My school offers a class, and if you complete it successfully you have the opportunity to get certified at the end of the semester. It’s really competitive to get into. I’ve applied for the two previous semesters and gotten rejected. I got in this semester though. It’s a lot of time commitment, four hours of lecture and five of lab a week. Not to mention ride a long ambulance hours you have to put in. But I think it’s very worth it. I’m quite fascinated by emergency medicine. It’s going to be a good experience.
It is my hardest semester coming up though. I’ve got fifteen hours in lab a week. Organic chemistry, physics, EMT and cell function and development. It’s fun, fun, fun (I say that with dripping sarcasm). Labs are oodles of work, for very little reward. They’re worth about 1 credit so even if you get an A it doesn’t help you that much.
My roommates are excited to get back out onto the partying scene. I do enjoy going out and drinking with my friends. But unlike them, I don’t have the expectation that I’m going to meet my future husband at a party. Especially since most guys at parties are looking for one thing and one thing only. I’m optimistic that one day I will meet someone that is special. I’m not sure if this is going to happen in my undergraduate years. A lot of hooking up goes on, and I also see a lot of cheating. There are a lot of guys that just should not be in a relationship. I don’t want to end up with one of those. I guess my expectations just aren’t very high right now.
To be honest, I’d rather just focus on succeeding in my life. I really want to go to med school. I don’t want to get distracted from that. Granted, I am lonely. I do desire companionship and someone to talk to. The right person would probably help alleviate some of the stress I’m feeling about getting into graduate school. But the wrong person could jeopardize that for me. I feel like the smart decision is just to live my life with that one goal as my focus. Maybe someone will come along. Maybe they won’t. Now is not the time for me to be out there searching though. I may have to be content with loneliness for a while.