I was inspired by the website http://www.lettersillneversend.com. I’ll be posting my letters on here. This is going to be a two part post. Mostly, because my letter to P is going to be quite long, hard to write and I need more time for it. But I’m going to write a couple letters to people in my life right now. All who can be found on the Characters page.
You ignoring my texts over break should hurt me, but it doesn’t. I’ve come to expect this from you. I don’t think you know how to build real relationships with people in your life. Your mom is fucked up to say the least. And I know you’ll never admit it, but living with her did damage to your soul. I think your lost. I want to help you. That’s why I’m your friend. It’s also why I offer you advice. I think you can get your life together, but you need to stop caring what other people think. Who gives a shit if your mom approves of what you do? Who cares if you’re a professor like your dad? It’s your life. Stop trying to prove yourself to your parents. They suck and it’s not worth it. There are plenty of people in your life who will love you no matter what you do. Including me. Start standing on your own two feet. You’ll be better for it.
Ryan is never going to date you. Ryan is never going to make you his girlfriend. Stop sleeping with him. And stop sleeping with every other guy that shows you remote interest. It’s not going to make you feel better about Ryan’s rejection. These men aren’t going to respect you more. They’re just going to think you’re a slut. Many of your friends are already calling you that behind your back. Not me. I never would. I don’t judge and I understand your motives. But give Bryan a chance. He could make you happy. I know he’s not buff and ridiculously hot. Do you really need that though? He’s cute and he would be good to you and treat you right. He would help you get over Ryan. Should all your other friends really be your friends if they wouldn’t accept him because he looks a little geeky? Don’t you think that’s superficial? I wish you could see there’s more to life then money and looks. You can’t measure your self worth for how many guys hit on you at a party. I’ll always be here though. Keep your chin up.
I think many may mistake my hurt over you for me being madly in love. That’s not the case. I’m not in love with you. I like you a lot. Perhaps it could grow into love. The hurt is the fact that I trusted you. You were the last person on this Earth who had my trust. Why? You were always there. You knew about P and it didn’t scare you. You had witty comments to make me feel better, but you were serious when I needed to learn a life lesson. You supported me. I supported you. I supported you all through the month of December when you needed somebody. I listened to you talk about your girlfriend. I let you vent about finals. I cheered you up and I didn’t ask anything of you. When you asked to see me I had my concerns. I told you I was scared. You said you were scared too. You promised me everything would be fine. I guess neither of us expected that night to be as intimate as it was. But why have you disappeared? Where are you and why aren’t you talking to me anymore? What the fuck is going on? You’re running and hiding from me and I don’t know why. You told me everything would be fine. It’s not. You broke my trust. That’s what hurts. That’s what burns. You were the last person left that hadn’t done that to me. Now I feel like I’ve lost my friend. Whatever it is I wish you would just talk to me about it. Hopefully, I’ll hear from you soon.