My younger brother, I’m going to give him a letter because I talk about him a lot. He’s J. J is fifteen and in his first high school relationship. J has had girlfriends before. A lot of them. He’s already a lady’s man, and he already knows what to say to get girls to do what he wants. It’s kind of scary seeing it from the other side. Anyways, he recently went to the movies with his new girlfriend and some of their friends. I drove him and on the way there I asked, “What are you seeing?” He tells me they’re seeing the new Twilight movie. Of course, I cracked up laughing. Only a teenage boy in lust would sit through Twilight with the hopes of getting some action.
Later, I picked J up and jokingly asked him how the movie was. He gave me a brief description of how lame it was, and then he tells me, “All of the girls say they can’t wait to find their dream guy like Edward.” When he told me that my faith in humanity dropped. I hate to break it to you, young teenage girls, but Edward does not exist. He was created by a female. Which brings me to the subject of this post “The Dream Man”. I’ve read quite a few blog posts of women detailing the man of their dreams. I don’t think these writers realize that this man is not out there. We are female, therefore any idea we have of a man will be distorted by our female brains and hormones. It’s the sad truth. These women are setting themselves up for failure, because they will never find this man. Then they do get in a relationship and they have ridiculously high expectations of their new partner. Of course he doesn’t live up to “The Dream Man”. This can create unhappiness in a relationship and ultimately cause it’s failure.
My friends have asked me on multiple occasions what my dream man is like. I always tell them I don’t know. They insist that I have to know something, and then they proceed to interrogate me about his eyes, hair, personality, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I have preferences, but if my male partner doesn’t meet all of my preferences I’m not going to give up on him. That’s just silly. People can be so much more then you expect. For example, my friend S refuses to date any guys that are shorter then her. She’s six feet tall (literally). I wonder if she realizes how many great men she’s eliminating just because of their height.
My point is that sometimes we need to just let go of what we think our partner should be. Granted, we need to have some basic ideals in the back of our minds. But let him be him. Don’t try and change him. If he’s right for you, he won’t need to be changed. Having high expectations of anyone is setting them up for failure….and setting yourself up for dissatisfaction and unhappiness.